Here’s a verse you never saw in that popular Bible Promise Book.
““You yourself will be very ill with a lingering disease of the bowels, until the disease causes your bowels to come out.””
This yummy promise was delivered by Elijah the prophet to King Yehoram of Judah. YHWH’s man was unhappy with the king because of a string of royal nastiness, including killing his competitors, taking an evil princess as wife, and doing other stuff associated with forsaking the God of your ancestors.
The king received some unpleasant news. Image from here (accessed 10/24/2019).
In this context, such behavior was a covenantal crime. The descendants of David were charged to lead the people faithfully. Yehoram scored a fail.
Because of this, the king was told that he and his family would suffer a great plague (Heb., maggefah). The same word is used to describe all terrible things that happened to Egypt back in the days of Moses (Exod 9:14). More personally, Yehoram would contract a disease that would squeeze his innards out.
Yeeech!
Being squeezed inside-out is never a good thing. Especially when it happens incrementally (“day by day”).
I wonder how to cast this description from the 8th century BC into modern medical terms?
Physicians use the term prolapse to describe a condition when a bodily organ slips out of place. In the Hebrew text translated above it is suggested by our well-worn friend, yatsah, “to come out.” The verb could be used of anything, much like the English word “exit.” Yehoram would suffer a prolapse, an exit, a slip.
You don’t find a prolapsed elephant slippin’ slide on every playground. I found this image here (accessed 10/24/2019).
But what would prolapse? What did Yehoram clinch when he heard this news?
The term mĕʻiy, translated above as “bowel” or “innards” is used to describe various aspects of the human anatomy.* It may come from an old root describing something “soft,” hence, “soft parts.” In the Bible it could refer to reproductive organs such as the penis or testes in males (think about the old use of the word “loin,” as in Gen 15:4 or 2 Sam 7:12). It also refer to the ovaries or uterus in females (e.g. Gen 25:23, Isa 49:1). Cast generally, the mĕʻiy can refer to the place where food comes and goes such as the intestines, stomach, and anus (e.g., Jonah 2:1, Job 20:14, Ezek 3:3). Metaphorically, the mĕʻiy can refers to the belly that flip-flops or cramps when you hear bad news (Jer 4:19, Lam 1:20). And hey, who doesn’t know what that feels like?
According to the Chronicler, the promised thing happened two years later. YHWH struck Yehoram with an incurable sickness. His mĕʻiy slowly oozed out and he died in great agony. I’m not that kind of doctor, but could it have been an abdominal hernia (gosh!) or rectal hernia (yowl!)? Once the infection got hot and angry, it would have been a bad way to go.
This is divine judgement, Old Testament style.**
Innards should definitely stay on the inside. Image from here (accessed 10/24/2019).
Now some of you may be wondering why I’ve brought this gruesome story to your attention.
Well, I write these words while packed in ice-bags. Yesterday I had laparoscopic surgery to repair a bilateral inguinal hernia (try looking that up in a biblical lexicon!).
My physician asked me at the consultation if I understood what was happening.
I said, “my insides are coming out.”
“That’s about right,” he replied coolly.
“What have I done?” I asked repentantly.
“Probably nothing. It’s life. It’s like wear on a tire.”
At least he didn’t say old-man disease.
The good news is this: all went well yesterday and my insides are not coming out anymore. I may not go like Yehoram. Instead I’m all tucked in and propped up on the couch reading stories about kings with hernias and prophets with moxie.
The bad news is that I feel like I’ve been kicked in the mĕʻiy by a mule.
That’s my post-op crazed look: all meshed up!
*The LXX uses the term koilia to translate the Hebrew mĕʻiy here. This Greek term covers similar ground and refers to the lower parts of the abdomen.
**There is a footnote to this in the New Testament. Judas, the betrayer of Christ, busts a gut and his splánchna comes out (See Acts 1:18).
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